The idea of running away has always fascinated me. I don’t know why but it has. I havent got a chance to yet, but I did seriously consider it today. Not to hurt anyone or pay them back or anything, but just for myself. Just to help myself cope. Sometimes things get so hectic and you don’t know what to do when, because you have SO much to do. That’s exactly how I felt today.
Even though I had so much to do, I just wanted to do nothing. I miss doing nothing. I didn’t intend on running away with someone, or for a long time to worry anyone, but I just wanted some me time. No, nothing bad happened, it’s just that im being pushed out of my comfort zone. Well, we all are. I spent two weeks with some new people who seem fun and entertaining, but I still feel somethings missing. Maybe its in me, I don’t know but I miss being with people who know me. Who know how to treat me, who pamper me all the time and do everything for me. Now its like I always do stuff for people. I do everything and am not thanked for it at all. And over that, I’m made to feel like its my duty to do all the work and let others lay back. Maybe Gods taking revenge now that I don’t have my spoon-feeders around me, to spoon feed me. It’s still a weird environment for me. Weird but fun. Hectic.
Today though, I just planned on going to a coffee day and sitting there all by myself till it was relatively late, and then get back since I didn’t want to worry anyone. Just sit there and maybe read a book, or take random quizzes or just have some coffee and enjoy being alone. Maybe I will do that some other time, but I didn’t today. I wasnt in that much of a desperate state either. And I hope I never am!
Also, fortunately for me, I have my favourite and best spoon-feeder with me by my side all the time. Someone I can crib, complain, yell at about everything, and blame everything on, and she still seems to understand. I feel incredibly lucky to have her – my best friend. Who has always stood by me and supported me and taken my side, even though I was wrong so many times! I seriously have no idea what I would do without her! Though at times, she doesn’t listen to me and it makes me SO MAD! What she doesn’t realize at times is, as much as she knows whats best for me, I know whats best for her too, and I know I never listen to her (or anyone) I really care about her and wish she listened! I get so mad when she doesn’t. I feel that if she was in front of me I would throttle her and make her listen. Sometimes, I really feel like doing that. But I can’t. Firstly, she’s way stronger. Secondly, I wouldn’t want to kill her coz I can’t even dream of surviving without her :*
Surprisingly, and luckily for me, I have the best of both worlds (as cliché as it sounds). My best friend goes to my college and I get to see her everyday. and that somehow calms me down. It beings back a sense of normality and familiarity in my life, which im so glad to have and never want to lose.
The other world – my class, doesn’t seem so bad either. Except for the amount of work and projects dumped on us in the first week, it’s pretty fun. Thankfully for me, again, I have one of my closest friends with me in my class, who feels the same stuff I do, about the class an teachers 😛 haha! its nice to have someone you can talk to, and bitch about other people to, at times. And she’s always there for that! Love you Kin! :* She has been too kind to me, and kicked my ass a few times, yelled at me and brought me back down to earth (thank god for that) I really have no idea how I could tolerate the people in my class (Ahem!) without her!
Also she advertised for my blog on her side and acted like my PR, so I’m doing the same because I’m a kind, and sweet person 😛 Take a look..